i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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