wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
