Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
