It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
