All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
no. you can't hotbox the world.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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