so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
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