By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
