I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
