Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
