Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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