help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
