i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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