No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
