Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
