dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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