grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
