and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
