A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
i've created a new STD.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
