brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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