What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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