what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
