The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
