did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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