the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
