I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Little spoons don't ask big questions
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Randomize
