wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
