This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
