Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize