Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize