hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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