the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
