She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
