So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
