How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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