someone owes me an orgasm
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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