I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
