two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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