Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
