Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Floor bacon is actually really good
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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