I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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