Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
