Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
