he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She bit a glass in half.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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