who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
