just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
