This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Can you bring me the toilet please
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
