That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
