Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Randomize
