5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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