shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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