It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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