Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize