Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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