Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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