i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
