how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
