so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
