naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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