Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
3 2 1 whiskey
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
